You gotta know when to hold 'em...

Note: Though this entry is written for the first round blog-off category, it is not to be voted for as it is past the deadline. It is for entertainment purposes and external use only. Please consult your physician should a rash occur. (These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.) Further, this was written rather quickly so spelling, grammar and organization may be lacking. Reader discretion is advised.

I don’t know how one would exactly define a “best life”. I don’t know if such a concept exists. I would say that one can build toward a “better life”. The “best life” may be an ideal to aim for, though one will probably never quite achieve it. Paradoxically, the ideal is not the true goal in life, nor can it be. The true goal should be the journey itself. The “goal” or “aim” of a best life will change from time to time. If one is set in a definite direction, and the end result changes midstream, what is one to do?

I am not a fan of what I like to call “Bumper Sticker Philosophy”. (This may be a future post in itself.) People like to quote aphorisms that sound lovey-dovey and oh-so-enlightened. (I would love to have a bumper sticker that reads “My views are too complex to fit on a bumper sticker.”) Quotations, proverbs, sayings and the like are often cited out of context and misapplied when taken from their original settings. When it comes to my outlook on Life, the Universe and Everything, I am influenced by a number of different cultures and traditions (as most cultures and traditions are; no one lives in a vacuum), most heavily by ancient Greek. There are a few, though, that I think can serve as guideposts on the journey towards a better life.

There are two phrases supposedly carved into the temple of Apollo at Delphi with which we can start our examination.

Γνῶθι σεαυτόν (gnōthi seauton) “Know yourself.”
Knowing—truly knowing oneself—is a very difficult thing to do. Many people live under an illusion of who they think they are or want to be. These views often originate and are fostered by one’s parents, culture, religion or other external forces that want one to conform to their ideas regarding what is important. You may fundamentally disagree with a belief or a practice but carry on with it because you’re ignorant or lazy to think for yourself. People may think they’re wrong or sick for wishing to live or think a certain way. Imagine how many people are in loveless marriages or unfulfilled lives because they’re living according to someone else’s standards.

Taking a hard, critical look at yourself can be difficult because it is easy to see something that you don’t like. Seeing something you don’t like (e.g. cruelty to others, bigotry, egotism), is a hard pill to swallow. People tend to have a high opinion of themselves. It’s hard when you realize that you’re not living up to your own expectations. If you do fall short of what you want, there’s a choice that must be made. Are your goals or expectations realistic? Or are your methods of achieving said goals or expectations realistic?

Those who don’t know themselves have no way of directing their life. They rely on rules and enforcers thereof. What do they do when there’s no one to tell them what to do? Not knowing yourself or what you want or believe is no way to achieve a better life. (What was it Socrates said? “An unexamined life is not worth something something…”)


Μηδὲν άγαν (māden agan) “Nothing in excess. (lit: Nothing too much).
I would venture a guess that almost everyone knows that too much of anything isn’t good for you. Too many sweets can rot you teeth. Too much TV will give you a fat ass. Too much D&D can impose involuntary celibacy. Too much love can be smothering. Too much masturbation can lead to chafing. Too much education can make you an asshole. Conversely, too little of things can also be detrimental. Too few healthful foods can contribute to the large ass. Too little D&D (or whatever hobby or escapism you prefer) can make you a dullard. Too little masturbation (unless you get enough of the good stuff) can…well, you get the picture.

The most ironic thing about moderation is that moderation should be done in moderation. There are times when one needs to give in to excess. Every once and a while, have an extra desert. Watch a movie marathon. Pull up your favorite website and unzip your fly. It’s called having fun and enjoying life.

Straddling the thin line between extremes can really only be done successfully if you know what you need and what your limitations are. I know that after two beers I’m on the verge of tipsy. After four or five, I’m dead on drunk. I also know that from time to time, I need a little Dionysian release. Sometimes I go for the release more than I should; sometimes not enough.

Πάντα ‘ρεϊ (panta rhei) “Everything changes.” (lit: Everything flows.)
This quote isn’t related to the temple of Apollo. It comes from the Greek philosopher Heraclitus (Ἐρακλιτος). Like the Golden Rule, almost every philosophical tradition has a version of this. The only constant in the universe is change. People change, rules change, and diapers are changed. In most aspects of my life, as soon as I learn the rules for something, they change. It took me two or three weeks to get used to having a newborn baby in the house. When I got used to it, he was then three weeks old. He was awake more. He ate and pooped more. When I got used to a baby who mostly slept, he started opening his eyes and being more alert. The noises I had become accustomed to being cries of hunger or discomfort became coos and giggles. I no longer needed to rush to him whenever he made a sound.
Likewise I have changed over time. My roles in life have evolved. I’m no longer a child or carefree and single—no matter what my wife says. As things change in my life, I must change with them. As my son gets older, I will have to teach him to use the toilet. (I could probably use a refresher.) I’ll need to teach him responsibilities and consequences. Finally, I’ll have to refrain from indoctrinating him to my views.

And finally…

“Man is condemned to be free…” –Jean-Paul Sartre
(No, I didn’t bother to write the quote in French. I only did it above because I found a website that lets me type in Greek letters and diacritical marks.)

I, as everyone, have the unfortunate fate of making my own decisions and dealing with the results or consequences. (Yes, some options are limited; I won’t go into soft determinism here.) Because we are free to follow our own paths, we are forced to create our own purpose in life…to determine what the “best life” is for us. Carving out our own purpose infers that there might not be a grand overarching, intrinsic purpose to life itself. No intrinsic purpose might infer that everything is random and nothing means anything. If nothing means anything, why go on? The only answer I have for that is “Why not?” At the age of 31, statistically speaking that is, I’m in the middle of Act II. I’m curious how the play will progress. Will it turn out to be a comedy or a tragedy? Will I want my money back at the end? Will the concession stand stay open long enough for me to get my free refill of soda?

There are no guarantees in life (except death, taxes and the occasional foot fetish). The lack of guarantees makes life a game. Some have more skill than others. Some are dealt an easier or harder hand through pure luck. You can sit out a few hands, raise the stakes of the bet, pass or fold. Every hand’s a winner; every hand’s a loser, and the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.